Failure

Here I am again, curled up in bed, boxsets and coffee on standby.
I am once again loveless, jobless and hapless. My boss has ended my trial period; a one-night-stand I thought I could fall for fucked someone else in my absence; and, as a result of putting myself out there for a guy who is a renowned player, I am now a laughing stock and inspiration for pity.
Really, I just want to tell certain people to stay away and quit invading my privacy, but I'm much too polite for any of these aggressions to be voiced.
But you know what? Yes, I am loveless, jobless and hapless, but I feel more awake than I have done for a long time. My weekends are my own again, and I can revisit past crushes with a new perspective. And it'll teach me not to turn up to go clubbing until 5am when I have work in four hours, and that I should maybe stop falling for one night stands.
I guess I'm broadly perceived as a bit of a failure- there are bigger, better, badder, faster, cooler, prettier girls than me almost everywhere I go. I'm known for being crippled by clumsiness, a caffeine addiction, and constant desire for affection and eyeliner. I never get the guy and my name provokes laughter from complete strangers. But I am what I am- and it's far from perfect but fuck it. I'll live.