Mother

Another lazy afternoon curled up in bed with The Squeeze, another 'farewell' by twilight. We kiss, we hug, we shiver our pants off in the cool evening air- such is the basis of Great British romance.
He retreats into the night, merely a shadow in the distance- I wonder where the night might take him. Disappointingly, it takes him 5 minutes up the road to the bus stop, but these are tough times for drama and mystery.

I head into the porch, hang my key chain (around 20 keyrings attached, including a piranha from the Sealife Museum, a Volkswagen beetle and lego figures of Chewbacca and Doctor Octopus), next to my Mom's (complete with smiley face and hearts keyrings, lovely,) and my brother's (bearing only one keyring- a green plastic one bearing his name, very uncreative).

Kicking off my boots is the last moment of peace I am granted- as soon as I get through the door, I am bombarded by people carrying beige curtains, chairs, vases, and a mirror bigger than me through the house. Of course- my Mother is decorating again.

I find her in the dining room- the room currently under renovation- the gleeful look of a child on her face.

'It's all coming together!' she enthuses, 'What do you think?'

'It's nice.' It's pretty much the same as before.

She clasps her hand to her heart, looking distraught. 'Oh angel, baby, honeypie! I got so caught up here, I completely forgot to cook! Do you mind making yourself something, just this once?'

'Of course not'- this is just an elaborate ruse for the sake of the decorators- my Mother tries to maintain her image of being homely and down-to-Earth; truth is, she doesn't cook. I prefer it that way- her attempts at cooking are fairly disastrous.

I start preparing pasta salad, with neopolitana sauce, salmon, cheese, chili and peppers.

'Oh, darling,' I hear her call, 'You did put enough on for me as well didn't you?'

'Of course.' Of course.

I stir in the last of the sauce, serve it into two bowls and sprinkle it with parmesan.

When I take it to her in the dining room, she looks ecstatic again.

'Oh sweetheart, I could hug you!'

Of course, she doesn't.